Once I have the ground fully dug over I start to clear the ground. This was difficult for me as I had to look at the things that I had done, and been done too me. Memories come flooding back to my mind, some I never wanted to remember as the pain was so deep. I am good at pretending things are okay when in reality they are a disaster.
This process has left me feeling some strong emotions.
It left me feeling afraid of my future. If I have made all that mess then Jesus won’t trust me with a ministry.
It left me feeling ashamed of the things that had happened to me. Jesus won’t use anybody with all these things in the closet, what if they were to be discovered.
It left me feeling guilty for the things that I had agreed to do. Jesus won’t use anybody with the potential to do those sort of things.
It left me feeling angry towards the people who had done things against my will. Jesus won’t use anybody who lets things like that happen to them.
It left me feeling rejected. If this has happened to me then clearly I am not good enough to be loved. Jesus won’t love me either because I am a failure.
These are the things that hold us back from being completely free. Just give them one by one to the Father and let Him deal with them. Then the ground will be completely cleared.
Then we will be ready to start.
Are you ready to start today?