After the 2 years going to Robertland primary I left for Stewarton High School. I was very fearful and wasn’t wanting to go as I wanted things to stay the same. When I had reached a place that I liked I became afraid of losing what I had. I had become insecure.
When I walked through the gates my old thoughts returned, fear, self hatred and rejection. I also felt that I would never get free from these feelings deep down inside. I would dread everyday.
I never told anybody as I never trusted anyone. I began to have trouble maintaining relationships, I was afraid of people. I was hiding who I was deep down inside.
One New Year at my Aunts house I was given a can of Lager, it tasted awful but I had to prove that I ‘was a real man’. After the can it was as if all my inner turmoil had left, I could be who I wanted to be.
I believed that I had found the answer. I only wanted to drink from then on, I used to dream of drinking as I believed that it was setting me free.
My problem was how could I keep drinking. I must look for a job but I was only 14 and was still at school.
I am telling my story in order to show people hoe Jesus set me free. I am happy for people to comment and discuss with me any points I have made.