Road to Faith. Choices, Choices. 7

The turmoil that was inside me was a bit difficult to cope with. I went to a ‘Christian’ party that is where I met Stefani. I thought it was a safe place to go because it was Christian. I ended up getting close to Stefani.

The problem was although I knew Jesus and for a few months he was Lord of my life, I still cried out inside for romantic love. The need to be loved by a female was greater than the walk I was on with Jesus.

I thought at this time that I was unlovable, I thought I had been left on the shelf, even though I was in my late teens. Deep down inside I thought I was past it in life. I wanted both Jesus and this woman.

The problem was that every time I called her, she gave me her number, she never wanted to meet me. Inside my head I had already fallen in love with her. I had a one sided love affair.

I hated responsibility so I thought I would just see what would happen. I called her about 3 times a week, she spoke but was always busy. I thought there was still hope because she spoke to me every time on the phone.

This went on for about 6 months.

Then I discovered that Stefani was going out with one of my mates, mate. I hardly met this person Craig. I also found out that other people that I knew also knew she was seeing Craig. I had been telling these people about the phone conversations, they never said anything even though they knew in my head I was in love with her.

At that time being hurt by other Christians was the hardest thing I had to face. The question for me now was what to do next.

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About cleavinghearts

I go to church in Troon Scotland. I want to see men from every nation rise up in Christ and be who they are called to be. I am interested in men getting together to praise and just do men's things. I also want to see women rise above their pain and turmoil so they are free to follow Jesus without the hindrances of their past.
This entry was posted in Addiction, Christian, faith, Inner conflict, Life, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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